See shud I sleep in me bed or the sofa?   See trubble is much as I luv me bed its in the kitchen and meens I hesta wark cross blessed shiny floor.  Now Shefeeder is most oblijin many times and do carry me cross but then she cleers off and leevs me sittin in me bed and hows a boy to manage?   Well furstly I do a rekky by very curfully puttin me ickle toes on the  floor to make sure they aint goin to slipslide away…..then I go a fews steps then go bakards to me bed agin then wait a bit, then set off - in a very brave manna I mite add - agin so I go a few steps furver and then kweekly bakards to me bed..and then maybe after 3 or 4 mor forays I get to the mat what me dinner is on …so then I can use that as a liftin off post into the livin room!…hoooray I make it…so all that is very tyrin but then I hes the trubble of gettin on the sofa for a ickle rest….Now agin Shefeeder can help me sumtimes ..so if I jess put my front feet on the sofa and look rownd all thetic she will push me bum up and I’m on …but wen shefeeders not there I hes to try and liff me back legs up meself and that is one big ole effort…then corse I hes to nok all them blimmin cushins on the floor cos they jes get in me way….shefeeder seys blimey Bob it’s like a turkish smokin  den in here ….I dunno what she meens but I get the pression she’s not that impressed wiv me handiwork..so eether way it’s blimmin hard wurk for a boy to get sum sleep…

Bin long times for doin the rytin but got a ickle spare time this afty so will tell of my resent advenchure.

Well Shefeeder haz bin thinkin agin….witch we all no is not allus a good thing!  Anyhoo she thort that I mite like more freedom wen we go warkin as she is tooooo scurred to let me off case I done come back on accownt of me not heerin wen she shouts me….so she got me a tractable leed, yeh tractable….it wurks like this….I go runnin off thinkin I’m free and at 25 feet I jerk to a stand still cos it has come to an end….you seen em havent yer?    So anyway we waz on the park this mornin and I was at the end of me tether….not fur the furst time neether……..wen,  he he he, I spots a plastic bottle…..shefeeder was powerless as I was on it in a flash and did runnin round n round  in a tite circle findin sumwere to chew it til it was flat as flat can be……….she hates it wen I do that…..and guess wot???  the blimmin long, long leed got wrapped round me back legs and I woz on a slope and she was yankin and I did a backwards flop, slid down the bank and hit me hed on the pavement…which unfortoonitly shokked me into droppin the bottle …and she dragged me on me back rite away from it…..hell and damnation…I woz mad!!!….But she wasn’t lettin me go back fur it neether…so we went home an I woz sulkin an went an sat in me pen…an woodnt come out til she gave me a pigs ear….witch woz alrite but no substitute for a plastic bottle…think shefeeders changed her mind now bout givin me a longer leed anall

Me an Shefeeder wen up the bak hill s’morning….I do like it up there cos is has humpy grass and lots of shmelly things that are so intrestin

Anyhoo along comes two dogs one on a leed and a ickle’n  comin twards me runnin free….Shefeeder alus panics cos she thinks I mite bite them cos of I carnt seeum proply or hearum….but this was a Girlie one and Shefeeder tole me it was a brindle staffy….I will haf to look up in my online dickshunery wot brindle meens ….pretty maybe?…she woz off the leed and runnin twards me….but she be nice and I shmelled her botty and she shmelled mine and then we played jumpy abouty and woz havin a shmiley time…wen suddenly the other brindle staffy….woo woz warkin with their Shefeeder and barkin at us slipped out of his leed and comes bargin twards me….rite so brindle don’t meen pretty then….now Shefeeder reeelly panikin!!!…but I woz ok….we did a ickle bit of shnappin but then I went back to play wiv the ickle girlie one and their Shefeeder capshured the nother one and we went on our way….Shefeeder was well prowd of me….she patted my head and fussed me up and wen we got home I had shpeshul treet of creem cheese in my kong……

ok haf looked in the dickshunery and brindle meens mixy browny colurs and incase you isn’t a doggy humin bein reedin this a kong is my only toy that I can’t destroy in 10 minnitts flat

See I have a short cote….it’s not very thik and in this freezin times my Sheefeeder sez it wos a shame that I was shvrin so she has puchased sum fashin garmints for me so I don’t froze no more.  Now then Iyam a dog.  Are dogs sposed to ware fashin garmints….?  I do not think so.   Furst of all we have a puffa jaket…with Burberry linin…I meen Iyarsk you….so she forces it over me ed and puts me legs thru and then sez how hansum I look…yeh..rite…so off we go out the door…and that missy moggy next door is sittin in her doorstep…she starts sniggrin at me behind her paws…so I shouted at her in no uncertin terms ‘well leest my Shefeeder done leeve me skrikin on the door step in the freezin cole for ours on end do she???’…that took the smile off her ickle pussy mushti…she skulked off round the korner affer that ha!..then we gets to wild scottie whitie on the korner and she starts with the ‘you look stoopid thru’ her gate..so I tole her you jus come thiside of the gate an see woos stoopid….leest I done hide behine gates. ..an then her Hefeeder came out and grabbed her by the scruffy nek….and horled her off inside…ha that shut her up….we gotto  the feeld ok affer that but then we hatto come bak…….then blow me if she didn’t take off the blimmin cote and then put a roll neck jumpy on me…….well I scriggled and wiggled on the floor til it now looks looks a quite fetchin off the sholder garmint so at leest it shows of me musselly chest….oh the trials an trbulashuns of havin a dotin Shefeeder…..hope it gits warm soon….

See I no that i do barkin….I can do lots of diffrent barkins….they just come up in my throwt and I carn’t do nothing bout it. ….but how dus Shefeeder no?    She looks at me and shakes her head and wags her fingers…she pokes me as well sumtimes…I don’t like the pokin too much…but how dus she no wen I do it??…She is in nother room and I do jus a ickle bark and in she comes goin …’will you STOP that!!!’  I am thinkin she mus be sykick or sommat…..she must feel the vibrashuns like I do wen sumone opens the door maybe?

I have diffrent barkins for diffrent cayshuns also…I have woooof wooooof bark bark bark bark wooof…wen I see a cat…. or bark…….bark…..bark…..bark….wen she is out the room and I need tenshun……or bark bark bark barkety bark wen I see a dog hoo looks like he mite be comin over to start summat…..I also have woof…..woof….woooooof…weeeooff  wen I think sumone is comin in our house without permishun…but she jus don’t seem to like eny of em….I jus carnt help it tho I am a dog after all an thats wot they do innit??

I don’t do bitin tho….no never do bitin…do a ickle nippin sumtimes wen I get too sited but it’s just a ickle luv nip..she don’t don’t like that much eether….hehe

Torkin of barkin…think I mite go an do sum now see if I can get a snakky thing

well we bin havin a visitation…yep  that ickle Willyummy and his mummy that missy lucy from tooloos has been stayin….Shefeeder went off and then came bak withem….not sure where frum but they woz heer for many nites….Crikey he corzez sum flurritashuns…he has a shpeshal bed an shpeshial pushin chare and oooh most shpeshal of all he has plastic bottles!!…and wiv them bein my favrite chewy thing in all de wurld  I woz always payin most shpeshal tenshun to where they woz bein put wen he woz dun with the suklin ofum.   And do yoo no wot???   I neva got hold ofem one time….hmmmm…Shefeeder just givin me that blank hand and shakin her head…..but they woz joggin him and cuddlin him and all takin picshures and kissin him…but it woz ok I woz  a good boy and neva woz suffrin from the jellusy becos my Shefeeder sed I cud go to bed with her and so that woz all very fine and dandy and of corse she did neva once forget my dinna nor my porrij oats of the mornin time so had no need to be suffrin the jellusy did I?  Even that bossy missy sarah woz nice to me and sed ….ohhh…hoos that then Bob?    Well wots she askin me for?  Sumone mustuv told her who they were shurly?  Yes it woz all go evryone was heer even that Danyul  and  ickle  missy tottie came to stay and  was givin him the ickle plastic bottle…..Anyway Shefeeder went off again and came bak withowt them so sorl carm agin now…just me and her havin our dinna togever…….hmmmm

Ohhhhh my gudness wot a siten day we had.  Shefeeder an her Bigman tuk me up a plase called Clifton Parc and it woz fullen dogs wot look jus liked me!!   We did warkin in the mud and jumbled rownd and rownd shmellin and shniffin an shufflin.  And I did meet a  luvly ickle missy girlie bullie hoo woz brown and lishus and we shnuffled and played and I woz  most taken wiz her hope we do go up there agin.

Evryone in the parc was mazed at how good we all woz….and shefeeder was larfin at all them other humin beins hoo woz lookin dubble takey at  all us boys and gurls havin a luvly time.

There was even a cutie ickle baby bullie hoo is deff as well as me……….so I did shnuffle her  as well

I had big dinna wen I got home so it was even betta then

First I gotta say happy crismas to you all….I had lots of eatin and sleepin so it woz ok…cept furst of all we had another rushin about effect and I had to go bigman’s again!!  Well yes just afore crismas another one of them babies arrived…this time it’s a gurl and my Shefeeder is a grandma again……..so she sez these grandchildrn are like buses you wait years and then two comin along at once….done have any idia wot she’s goin on about but if she’s happy then soam I.  This time she ony had to go to Londin so she took herself there and back…and she was ony gone one nite …so woz not so bad….weerd thing is about you humin beins is they have called this little gurl Cat…..???   thought them were furry little things that lived next door…o well wot do I no…

So all is good in my wurld at the moment and can ony hope it is the same for all of you…I have to say we are goin to have a new year soon….new babies, new years…I done no all new things….cept me acorse…I’m the same old Bob..and I didn’t pester them there ginee pigs at bossy missy sarah’s house soam lowd back ….

O yes…I was shleepin on the sofa at Bigman’s house when in she warks….I was sooo upsited I did  some tippy toe dancin, two bullie runs and much wiggly wagglin……we went back to our sofa and had me dinna there…tho Bigman did give me dinna  and he is orlrite…it’s not the same as havin your own shpeshal Shefeeder is it?……Even if she is a grandma now….

Now its bein almost the crismas tree time parrently …has to be much shoppin and buyin and ruslin and buslin and I has to be on best ohaver as we are goin to that bossy missy sarahs for our shpeshal crismas dinna…and I’m not allowd next to the ginee pigs..wotever they are..I do no that I’m now a lucky Bob cos I has lots of dinna and  peeple at crismas and many dogs and peeple do not  so we have to spare a thort for them….I do promise I will leeve a thort on the side of my dinna bowl and then someone can have it…I won’t mind cos I will be very fullup myself…hmmmm

Just done no where to start this mornin.  Blimey!…Right well heer gose I’m lernin numbers now so just paya tenshun

1.  Shefeeder is all upsited and jumpin up an down cos that missy Lucy from tuloos has got a baby …now I dunno where she got it from or if it is a rescew like me but I do no its a boy and he  arrived on Friday morning….. but she didn’t get so upsited that she forgot me dinna so that was ok

2. This meens that Shefeeder is going to Tuloos on a hairyplane and I can’t go and I have to go stay with Shefeeder’s bigman for a hole week….. dya think I’ll still get me dinna?

3. Parrently Shefeeder has turned into a grandma…now she seems to look the same and she still bin making me do warkin and I’m still gettin me dinna so not shore  this is of any portanse to me but I will keep an eye on her n let you no

ok enuf of events haf to go n bark at next doors cat….