Me paws is better!!….so now I can do runnin well fast trottin at leest….without me boots…..

so I can be explorin and doin rovin to report to evryone what is occurin in me world …shpeshilly as me lip readin is getting stremely hexpert

Mind you I still arnt goin to be warkin in the shiny floor…went to nother house and they got em too…so I refused…yes I refused I’m tellin yer..Shefeeder was in the house and I was outside on the pavingmunt and she was pullin and I was pullin … she’s doin the ‘oh you are a idjut’ she had to carry me in cos no way woz I goin in there and so I had to spend the hole time sittin on a ickle mat by the door….she did bring me a drink tho so spose it was alrite…

Wow it’s uffishal! Them luvly peeple at People’s Voice Media liked my storees so much they have made me a Community Reporter…look it’s reel I gotta badge an everythin

Whadya think….hansum arn I ?….he he

Now sheefeeder bin moanin well now Bob u orta start spellin proply if you goin on there…she showd me how to use an online dikshunary which a corse I am usin…

As u can see from my picksure I am a very layed back boy….

anyhow wot I wanted to say today is me and Shefeeder do this thing sumtimes when we go out the house get into a black box and then sit and watch pickshures then get out agin and our house has gone! I like it tho…I like to sleep cos it hums that little black box and surenuff after a while when we get out agin our house is back….you humin beins are weerd

Oh my lor….she keeps barfin me…. I mean the sort which is wet not the sort when you barf up your dinna!  Its cossa me jeans agin…….I gotta have barfs with me shpecial shampy…….to make my skin be smoove and stop itchin…well fare enuf…but evry blimmin day?

So I got a trik to stop her puttin me in the barf…I make myself hevvy, verry verry hevvy.  Now she biggerun me but I can go down so so low and make my bum be stuck to the floor and she struggle to pick me up to go in the barf….she always win acorse but a boy has to try…..I do the cykillogical trik too …where I shiva and snivle but she wised up to that one pretty kwik.

Anyway had me barf for today so don’t have to worry bout that no more……going to do a bit shivrin on the sofa to see if it brings a biscuit or two

I luv my ball.  I do.  It’s big and round and red.   I can run around with it and shake it and it makes me happy.  Now then you He’s and She’s you like em too don’t you?   In our house there is a box in the korna where we wotch them little ones kickin a ball round.  I don’t no why coz it neva comes out so I can play with it.  I no coz I’ve checked upside, downside and round nother side..that ball don’t come out…so wot is so good?   Shefeeder’s Bigman sez don’t you worry Bob we’re all in Trublueven at the moment so it don’t matter……whateva!!   my ball game is much eezier than that there is only 1 rule and that is…..THE BALL IS MINE……see? simple!

My skin has broke out agin…we after to go the vets agin…..hate that…I do a lot of barkety barkin in there I can tell you…I bin on steroyds an robitics and still it come back we tryin a shpeshal shampy now coz vet sez I won’t gro old if I keep avin them robitics and them steroyds.  I got some black stuff for me saw paws as well.   Well who wants to gro old?   Won’t be able to play with me ball  wen I get too old so mite as well stay yung I rekkon .  Oh me dinner is here………..

It’s very cold and dark in the nite time now.  There’s a special thing goin on in the dark nite…s’called bonfire …bout rememberin a guy who lost his plot and flew up a buildin or sommat…anyway was out doin my lastie on Satday nite and there I woz doin my bizness when the night went all shparkly shparkly I wotched it all go diffrent collors and then shefeeder stroked my head an looked sad and sed it woz a shame…..then we went home and I had many biscuits and snuggled on the sofa.  I like that

See I’ve got saw paws…it’s to do with my jeans…so it hurts wen I wark so I don’t want to wark  and I’m a dog so I’m sposed to wark …don’t no where to but it’s ok..see trubble is Shefeeder watches too much dog whisperin…calm submissive..my saw paws!!   no layin down isn’t calm submissive…it’s sayin I DON’T WANT TO WALK..is all…

I bin lernin sine langwig also…no sum of them like stop and dinner and wark and dinner and comere and dinner and shut up and dinner a little bit of lip readin is occurin just so you no missy sarah I no wot you sayin to Shefeeder bout me pretendin to be deff and bout me bein a little shishkebab..think me spellin is improven also

anyway do got saw paws and now I got Professional Dog Walking shoes is wot it sez on the packet….it’s cool ..i do che che che up the rode n it dusn’t hurt me paws …mite run another time

I have decided I am not going into the room with the funny floor ever again. Shefeeder keeps tryin to make me by offerin me a biscuit from over the other side. Does she think that will make me go? Well it doesn’t! Shefeeder thinks I should eat my dinner in there but I don’t see why I can’t eat it in the room where I like the floor….what’s her problem? Shefeeder got hold of the stupid belt she ties on me and pulled me over the floor but I didn’t move my legs and just slid….it was fun!…I like that….but I’m not goin in there ever again….I don’t like it. Got her puzzled tho….I can see she is pointing it out when other ones are there….they all have a little go and making me go in there…..they just don’t get it…I don’t like it and I’m not goin in there…..They forget I am a dog and I don’t have to have reason not to go..I’m just not goin!!!!

Well you know I have a shefeeder now…I didn’t used to but that’s changed. She is a humin bein…not like me who’s a K9 bein…I know there are diffrent kinds of humin beins…there is He’s and she’s for a start …just like k9s but some are better than others I like feeders whether they are he’s or she’s…you get waster ones….who never feed …or newsance ones who think it’s fun to do playin….My shefeeder has issues I rekkon…she keeps wanting to tie a belt round my neck and go out the front door then we have to walk around doin nothin…I keep stoppin and lettin her know it’s not want I want to do but she keeps shakin her head with that look on her face like I’m an imbecile or sommat…she’s the imbecile who wants to walk around in the rain?? I call it going for a drag now ‘cos that’s what she has to do …drag me…hehe

Forward from my Shefeeder:

I thought I would explain a little about Bob as he is a very special boy and I thought you’d might be interested in his world so I am going to always let him talk to you after this. He is a 2 year miniature bull terrier…a very handsome chunky boy, but he was kept in a small box for a very a long time until he was rescued, which means he has a few calluses on his legs from rubbing against the sides which may never go away. He has inherited a gene that some too white dogs have which means he is deaf and has a skin condition, also he has impaired sight in one eye…we don’t know why….but anyway you can see he didn’t have a great start in life or the best breaks but here is his take on life!!